The best way to support someone affected by fraud is to listen without blame, help them contact their bank quickly, and help them report the scam and secure their accounts. Let them stay in control of the decisions as far as possible. Many people feel deep shame after a scam, so how you react can make a big difference to whether they keep asking for help.
What should I say to someone who has been scammed?
Start with kindness. Scammers are professional criminals who use pressure, flattery and fear. Being fooled is not a sign of stupidity.
Things that help:
- "This is not your fault. These people are very good at what they do."
- "Thank you for telling me. Let's sort out the next steps together."
- "You are not the only one this happens to."
Things to avoid:
- "How could you fall for that?"
- "I told you so."
- Taking over without asking.
Someone who feels judged may hide further contact from the scammer or stop answering their bank. That can make things worse.
How can I help in practical terms?
You can help them work through the steps in our first 24 hours guide:
- Call the bank together. Sit with them while they call, using the number on their card or dialling 159. Let them speak if they can, and help them note down names and reference numbers.
- Report the scam. Help them report to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040, or Police Scotland on 101 in Scotland.
- Gather evidence. Help them screenshot messages and save statements. See how to preserve evidence.
- Secure accounts. Help them change passwords and turn on 2-step verification. See protecting your accounts.
- Keep a folder of letters, emails and notes so nothing gets lost.
Never ask for or write down their passwords or PINs. Help them set up their own new ones.
Can I deal with their bank for them?
Usually the bank needs to speak to the account holder, but there are options. Citizens Advice explains that the person can fill in a form called a third party mandate, giving you permission to manage their account. Most banks have one on their website. If you need to manage several accounts or help for a long time, they may need to give you power of attorney.
Even without these, many banks will let you sit in on a call if the account holder agrees.
Does it matter if they were vulnerable?
Yes. Under the UK's APP scam reimbursement rules, people who were vulnerable at the time of the scam get extra protection. The bank cannot refuse their claim on grounds of gross negligence, and cannot take off the optional £100 excess. Vulnerability can be linked to things like illness, disability, bereavement, loneliness or money worries.
If this applies, help them tell the bank. You can explain what was going on in their life at the time, with their permission. Read more in getting your money back after an APP scam.
What if they still believe the scammer?
This is common, especially with romance scams and investment scams. The person may have strong feelings for the scammer or hope that the money is still there.
- Stay calm and keep the conversation open.
- Ask questions rather than arguing: "Have you ever met them in person?" "Have you been able to take any money out?"
- Suggest they talk to their bank or an independent adviser.
- Keep checking in, even if they push you away.
How can I protect them from being scammed again?
People who have lost money are often targeted again, sometimes by "recovery" firms. The FCA warns that the people behind the original scam may come back pretending to be someone else. Help them remember a few simple rules:
- No genuine bank, police officer or regulator will ask them to move money or pay a fee to get money back.
- If someone calls unexpectedly, hang up and call back on a trusted number.
- Talk to you or someone they trust before sending money.
The Take Five campaign sums it up as Stop, Challenge, Protect: stop and think, challenge requests that could be fake, and contact the bank if something feels wrong. Read our guide to fund recovery scams.
Look after yourself too. Supporting someone through a scam can be draining. You do not have to have all the answers. Citizens Advice runs a consumer helpline on 0808 223 1133, and you can contact us for free support for you or the person you are helping.
Frequently asked questions
Can I report the scam on their behalf?
You can help them report, and you can report a scam you know about. The bank will usually need to hear from the account holder, or from you with their permission.
What if they do not want to tell anyone?
Gently explain that reporting helps the bank try to stop more money leaving and may be needed for a refund claim. Respect their choices, but keep offering to help.
Should I give them money to cover the loss?
That is a personal decision. If you do, make sure they are no longer in contact with the scammer, so the money is not sent on.